He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
