My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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