omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
