This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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