i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
