would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
