Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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