The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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