so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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