you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
