A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize