I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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