I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
