isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A bitchslap is in order.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
