You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
