you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
