Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We need to rekindle our bromance
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
