my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
