If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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