just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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