you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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