Can i not drive my cunt home
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
