If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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