He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
