She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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