dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
