garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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