every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Less talking, more tequila
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
