"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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