We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
