"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize