nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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