His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
