Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
