is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
