We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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