They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
