I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
