I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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