I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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