my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
