If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
