we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
