If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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