standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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