that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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