so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
