Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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