bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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