The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
