College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
