We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
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I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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