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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  sounds like you fell off the wagon.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You are an asshole

  (574): View more from Indiana

  haha sleeping beauty awakes.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Where did you find this costume?

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!

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