Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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