Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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