Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
