Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
