I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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