i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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