Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She needs sedatives and a leash
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
