And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
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Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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