i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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